Parenting is Hard

Commercials, social media, and bloggers often paint parenting to be the epitome of joy. The pride that comes with watching your child be the lead in a school play, seeing their excitement on Christmas morning, and making memories that last forever on family vacations. Research shows, however (and several fellow parents can vouch for it), parenting is often not the epitome of joy. A parent’s days are often filled with anxiety, frustration, depression, and other negative feelings. How can we enjoy the often exhausting experience of parenting? Well, WPA Counseling has a thing or two to say…

Post-partum depression is real. Indeed, it’s seen as a common issue for new parents. What is often not mentioned, however, is the emotions from post-partum depression often carry over well into the years following the birth of your child and can even seep into their teenage years. Newborns require almost constant care to get them to sleep, eat, and develop properly. The lack of personal time and rest can put a strain on parent’s minds and the relationship with their partner. Studies show that fatigued parents often fail to respond adequately to their child’s needs, lack self-esteem, and even show resentment towards their children.

Despite all this, the fulfillment parenting provides can be hard to beat. Through the depression, frustration, anxiety, and even anger we find absolute fulfillment for ourselves when we watch our children grow up. Learning to find things to enjoy from the ride, however, is the tricky part. Here’s some ways parents new and experienced can cope with the wild journey that is parenting.

• Focus on the Positives: This might sound self-explanatory, but it’s harder than it seems! The sacrifices we make for our children can lead to varied levels of frustration, depression, anxiety, and more, but we would be remiss to consider the cost without idealizing the benefits. A great example is when it comes to school. Putting your child through school is often a driving factor of financial and psychological stress for many a parent. What may help when dealing with these emotions could be remembering how a good education will have years of benefit for your child. Your child learns how the world works, makes new friends, and thinks critically. Shifting attention from the negatives to the positives in most aspects of life is usually the most productive!
• Take Some Alone Time: Having moments to yourself is the key to happy parenting as well as a happy relationship with your partner/spouse. Spending time with yourself is instrumental in maintaining your sense of self; spending time with your partner before a baby is born can do wonders for your mental health afterwards. Studies have shown that parents who spend more time together before a delivery are often experiencing less negative moods than those that don’t. If you have kids, be sure to set aside time for your relationship as often as you can. Whether that’s a dinner date, an adult vacation, or even just a movie night on the couch, quality time spent with your person will help maintain the relationship and offload some stressors.
• Take Things Less Seriously: As helpful as we try to be as parents, packing our kid’s schedule and watching their every move is a draining mental health experience for both parent and child. Take a step back and be slow to intervene during play with others. Studies have shown a drastic decline in freeplaying over the past decade, leading to increased levels of depression and helplessness in kids. Freeplay (non-structured activity) is essential to the development of the child and the parent! Letting your child experience the world in their own way enables them to learn new things that they can question you about, make critical thinking decisions, learn problem solving and self control among other things. Take a step back from parental perfection and just be a parent. You might even learn something from your kids!

The journey of parenthood is long and exhausting. WPA Counselors understand and will personally invest themselves in your unique situation by being the lighthouse that guides you to a better you. With WPA Counseling, you’ll come to a better understanding of not only parenthood, but yourself.